On May 15th , a very sunny day in Dublin, we were ready to do our workshop on ‘Anorexia and School’ at the HOPE congress 2025.
When we saw the attendance list, we were absolutely overwhelmed by the number of people who were going to join our workshop.
We had counted on 25 attendees, but extra chairs had to be found and there were some 60 participants. Wow!
Our goal was to put our own experience as a means of learning, or maybe a means of reflection, to others and share our story about how a regular (not hospital) school can be of support when a student suffers from Anorexia Nervosa
We wanted to bring together three stories in one example of best practice: Robin’s story as the student who was ill, Katie’s story as Robin’s mother and as educational advisor and the story of Robin’s former teacher, who told her story on video.
In an interview kind of setting Robin told her personal story and answered questions from the audience.
Robin told our audience what had helped her. She shared how her school had asked her what she needed from them, how they could be there for her.
She told in what way her teachers were informed, how there was regular contact, and how she told her classmates about her illness. This approach had made it possible for her to take her exams. She wanted so much to graduate together with her best friend! And she did!
Katie zoomed in on what it had been like for a mother to deal with this illness and also shared how, as an educational advisor, she had been able to help school to make an adjusted curriculum, that she had explained the importance of staying in touch with education and that being supported by their teachers can be helpful for students suffering from AN.
A beautiful item in the workshop was when Robin’s former teacher told us how she had supported Robin. Many of the participants were touched by her kindness and wisdom. The ease with which this teacher immediately came into action and was able to make Robin feel seen and heard and above all safe, was for many of the participants heartwarming.
Robin was able to answer questions in an open and honest way and was able to tell with lightness and honesty about this difficult period in her life.
The discussions were interesting, and we were moved by the kindness and loving reactions from the participants.
At the end of the workshop Robin told how she deals with the eating disorder now, some ten years later; the anorexia is never completely gone and is always sort of lurking in the dark.
“This is what helps me” she said “in a way my Anorexia is now my warning system to keep me from overdoing things and stressing myself out. The illness is like a big dog sleeping in its bench and every now and then it becomes uneasy and restless and wants my attention. Then I realize I need to reflect and find balance in what I do. So I can say: I don’t need you, dog, I can fend for myself but thank you for warning me. I will be all right.
We had a great time sharing our story.
Robin Tolenaar and Katie Gramsbergen.
Robins booklet was offered for free to everyone at the HOPE congress in Dublin.
For extra copies:
Uitgeverij Boekscout
ISBN 9789465280776 / 978-94-652-8077-6
Boekscout: At War with Yourself van Robin Tolenaar
Katie Gramsbergen (from the Netherlands)
Email address: kgramsbergen@bazaltgroep.nl
